Basics of Dating Game: The Neg
by Mature Woman
I spent a good deal of time scratching my head and wondering what I should write today’s Basics Of Game post on, and then it came to me! As an email.
How does this sound [as a neg]?
“We should meet up so you can impress me with more than your looks and achievements”
After reading this email, I realized that today’s post should be on how to properly form and use a Neg. Because that up there is awful. Just plain awful. The problem most people have with negs, as is plainly apparent by that email, is that often we confuse a solid neg for an insult. While it may seem easy to explain a neg as a sort of “light insult”, it isn’t true.
A Neg is more of an underhanded compliment. It sounds positive, but yet it says nothing good – or bad – about or two the target. It’s ambiguous. Entirely ambiguous. Lets turn to the source, Mystery, and look at what he said about negs in his book The Mystery Method:
A neg is not an insult but a negative social value judgment that is telegraphed. it’s the same as if you pulled out a tissue and blew your nose. There’s nothing insulting about blowing your nose. You haven’t explicitly rejected her. But at the same time, she will feel that you aren’t even trying to impress her. This makes her curious as to why and makes you a challenge.
-The Mystery Method, pgs 94-95
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Being as they were his idea, Mystery explains negs in a supremely simple fashion. I will try and break it down even further and say that when you throw a neg, you attempting to show the girl that she doesn’t impress you. You aren’t complimenting her, and you aren’t insulting her. You’re implying that she’s simply something you deal with every day; you imply that you are out of her league.
Some examples that Mystery throws out for negs include:
- “Too bad I’m gay.”
- “Wow, are you always like this?”
- “You don’t get out much, do you?”
I would love to go over all of the negs he includes in the book because they’re absolutely perfect and even if it is a bit dated and people know the lines, it gives you ideas to start making your own. Even though I can’t (read: wont) type out every neg he suggests in the book, I feel like I wouldn’t be doing my duty to you all if I didn’t at least take one of them and show you how to rework it to use anywhere at any time on any woman!
Mystery suggests the following neg: I like that dress. I remember seeing you at a club before and you were wearing the same dress. It is nice though.
Now this neg is pretty brilliant. It gets the girl thinking, first, if you’ve met before. Then she will realize that you must have met before and oh my god, I’m wearing the same clothes! I must look like a slob! The goal with every neg is to lower her value relative to yours, and get her chasing you. You show her that you are higher status – you aren’t wearing the same outfit you were a week ago – and that you aren’t really interested in girls that are beneath you. Her wheels will turn and her hamster will spin until she rationalizes the thought that she must have you.
Now, as I said, his material is a bit dated. So how can we revamp this neg and still keep it’s impact and form? It’s simple! change the scenario only slightly:
I like that dress! I saw another girl just a few minutes ago wearing the same thing and I couldn’t help but notice how pretty it was on her.
Can you see the thoughts starting to bubble up in her precious little female mind? I know I can! A key part of the game is predicting what she’s thinking and why – knowing how what you say will affect her. The moment you let this neg go, she begins to think the following:
- There is another girl here wearing my dress?
- He thought the dress was pretty on her. Does he think it’s pretty on me?
- Is it pretty on me?
- Am I pretty?
- Was it prettier on her?
- Is that what he thinks?
At this point she might throw this shit test at you: “Well why don’t you go talk to her then?”
It’s a shit test. Treat it like one and fire back with either an agree and amplify (“I would, but her boyfriend looked like he could kick my ass.”) or an evade and reframe (“You’re a touchy one.”).
Negging was the one concept of game that took me the longest to learn. I think it’s hard for guys to come up with a line that isn’t insulting, but doesn’t directly compliment a girl either. Especially guys who are used to a life time of delta/beta behavior, and who haven’t gotten enough experience to have accurate social acumen. Your fear, understandably is flat out insulting her and making her walk away. Granted, if you approach negs wrong, you will end up insulting her.
When you’re in the moment and you need a neg, just shoot for a comment that more shares a mild disinterest in her than anything else. As long as it raises your value and telegraphs that you aren’t that impressed by her, you’re doing it right. You never, at any point, want to berate, mock or insult her. Those aren’t negs. Those are things guys do when they want to go home and cry into a pillow while they masturbate.
For now though, grab your copy of Mystery Method, turn to page 94, and review the section on negs. Spend some time reading over them, say them out loud and get a feel for how the words should leave your mouth. Retool a few of them, come up with some negs of your own, and write them down. Memorize them and deploy when applicable.
For a beautiful girl, your negs should feel like a wall that put a stop to her little emotional pussy party. For more mediocre girls, you should tone down the negs and use them less as she probably already thinks you’re higher value than her (in some cases, beta behavior will get you a long way).
That’s all I have on negs! The best thing you can do, other than brushing up with your copy of MM, is check out the Loveawake blog and search for posts on negs. And don’t forget to practice, practice practice! If you don’t go out and continuously force yourself to use canned material and try new techniques, you’ll never develop new lines or get comfortable with the difficult things like negs. Its only by going out and practicing that you’ll get to the place where you know when you go out that you’re coming home with pussy. Trust me, the first few times you try and neg you’ll probably end up losing the girl because you’re just plain mean – but after a while you’ll get the hang of it and then you’ll realize that negs are the single most fun part of a pick-up (other than the fucking).
Go out there and come up with some awesome shit, guys!
